Johnny Truant is Real [Archive]

Midnightingale

11-24-2003, 03:21 PM

So, I meet the real Johnny Truant yesterday. At least the guy who wrote his bits. Did you all know Johnny is a real person? He got screwed out of credits by Mark, and Pantheon. His real name is Joshua Klimax. He told me things about the book I have never even considered before.

Tips from Johnny:
*The book is supposed to fall apart.
*Use the covers as bookmarks. Junk for Johnny, Map for Navidson. (Always use two bookmarks.)
*Follow the map.
*Never lose your place.

I never knew there was a real Johnny Truant. Can you imagine my surprise when I inadverntaly found him. He's a bit odd. Only answers "the right" questions. I'm having trouble finding the "right questions" to ask, so maybe you all coukld help me out.

If you could ask Johnny something about House of Leaves what would it be?

[ November 24, 2003: Message edited by: Midnightingale ]

RainingLight

11-24-2003, 04:01 PM

I already met him once. He was in Wal-Mart buying fishsticks.

What did I ask him?

How much of the book did you write while you were in the bathroom?

silver474

11-24-2003, 04:12 PM

He told you he wrote all of it sitting on the crapper, right?

Hell, if I said I met the "real" Johnny Truant every time I met a tortured soul with stringy hair and bad teeth, I'd have enough material to write my own book.

Maybe you should ask him how he got those scars on his arms.

Themnoria

11-24-2003, 04:33 PM

You friggin' idiot. I'm Johnny Truant.

Midnightingale

11-24-2003, 05:49 PM

I see you all don't believe me. That's okay. That's fine, you don't have to. I believe him, that's enough for me.

Keep idolizing Mark. Keep on thinking he wrote all of it. Sure sure, whatever you say.

But I know Johnny Truant lives in Joshua Klimax.

Archeaux

11-24-2003, 08:12 PM

A. That's creepy.
B. Did he do all the stuff he wrote about?
C. What the fuck are you people talking about? Am I missing some grand metaphor?

[ November 24, 2003: Message edited by: Archeaux ]

malakite

11-24-2003, 08:22 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Themnoria:
You friggin' idiot. I'm Johnny Truant.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

no, I am!

Blackbox

11-24-2003, 08:30 PM

Why does "Joshua Klimax" sound like a cross between a porn star and (if there are any in here, do forgive me) an amish? Yeah, an Amish porn star. Joshua being the Amish half, and don't get me started with "Klimax". Too freakin' obvious. You're a Weird Al Yankovic fan who's into pornos. Nothing wrong with that, I'm not judging your tastes in entertainment, but "Joshua Klimax"? Still, an entertaining story at midnight. I applaud your creativity at this hour. images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

fearful_syzygy

11-24-2003, 10:42 PM

Perhaps he's from Climax, PA -- one of my favourite place names. It's not too far from Bird-in-Hand, PA and Intercourse, PA. In fact, I'd say it came right after those two and near as dammit to Paradise, PA.

Midnightingale

11-25-2003, 05:47 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Archeaux:
A. That's creepy.
B. Did he do all the stuff he wrote about?
C. What the fuck are you people talking about? Am I missing some grand metaphor?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeah it is creepy, and no he didn't do the stuff he wrote about. His part of the book was simply everything Johnny Truant. Point is Mark didn't write House of Leaves all by himself. Which is apparently what most people here think.

As to what they are talking about, well I seem to be taking the piss. They don't believe me, and I can't say as I blame them. But instead of acting like mature adults they have to make fun. Not to nice, but what can a girl do? People will either believe me (why would I lie?) or they won't. Makes no differance to me.

fearful_syzygy

11-25-2003, 05:50 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Midnightingale:
I seem to be taking the piss.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You said it...

Blackbox

11-25-2003, 06:09 AM

Well, let's see. Out of the blue, a new poster comes along and says "Mark didn't write ALL of HoL, some dude named Josh Klimax did!" Imagine our position: I don't think, save for you, or the possibility of a few other people here and there, have ever heard of this Joshua Klimax in relation to HoL before this post started. Second, no evidence to contradict that MZD is the sole author, except for what you said, and third, why isn't this Klimax guy suing the ass off of MZD for claiming ownership of HoL if MZD didn't write the entire thing on his own, and didn't recognize Klimax? And this especially holds true: just because you say something doesn't make it so. You only SAID that there was a J. Klimax who wrote the J.T. portion of HoL, but can you provide any supporting evidense? That is what I'm wondering.

Farehamer

11-25-2003, 08:00 AM

No, I'm Spartacus.

Did you know Tyler Durden's real too, I met him the other day, just appeared sat on the end of my bed, creepy, very creepy.

images/smiles/icon_wink.gif

DeathandMaiden

11-25-2003, 08:17 AM

Hey, this reminds me of that movie with the rabbit!

Themnoria

11-25-2003, 04:47 PM

Did I tell you I met one of Zampano's dead cats? Yeah! Me and the cat's ghost had tea and it told me some trippy shit!

1. The book doesn't really exist
2.Martha Stewart really came up with the idea for the house-as an interior decorating challenge
3.If you take the 5th word after every third "house" and take the last letter out of every other word it spells out "Your mom is so f-ing attractive, Midnightingale, oh GOD!!!"

WhenNothingWas

11-25-2003, 06:00 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Midnightingale:
why would I lie?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Seeing as how nobody here knows you, that question is basically equivalent to you asking "why don't I eat pears?" Who knows what your motives are, maybe you lost $50 at the casino the night before or something.

All I know is that I am not going to hide the fact that I think you are full of shit. Your claim just doesn't make sense: Danielewski didn't need to have someone else write the part of Johnny Truant - he is a perfectly capable and gifted writer. Also, I think this Joshua fellow would be a little pissed off about getting his name taken off the project - I doubt he would speak so kindly to you about it, and, further more, give you clues on how to read it.

[ November 25, 2003: Message edited by: WhenNothingWas ]

DeathandMaiden

11-25-2003, 08:47 PM

Tell you the truth, if this guy also "really" wrote the J.T. segment, why would he only answer certain questions? I would think the real author, if he were willing to answer questions, would be willing to answer ANY question, not just the "right" questions. It's obvious that anyone who only answers an ambiguous "right" question is full o' de hot and stinky. Yes indeedie doodie I agree: you are full of shee-it as we say here in Appalachia.

1exist

11-27-2003, 09:04 PM

The two parts of the book are so interlinked that the concept of two authors seems impossible. As well as redundant.

But I, for one, am in the mood for a good story. At least its a slight more original than the standard bullshit.

Go on midnightingale. What else has Klimax told you about the book?

Edit: Nvm. I read the first post and its.. just.. retarded. I'm sorry.

[ November 28, 2003: Message edited by: 1exist ]

Stencil

11-28-2003, 02:51 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Midnightingale:
But I know Johnny Truant lives in Joshua Klimax.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You meant to say that, right? Does Johnny Truant come in every night through the back door?

Anyway, I find it totally reprehensible that you should make up a male 'real' writer; your chauvinist, misogynist bullshiting really turns my stomach. Everyone knows that the real made-up writer of Johnny's parts (yes, I know, thanks) is Klarrisa N'Ding, a 23-year old MIT student who has one leg shorter than the other and uses Danielewski as a front for her fictions because she feels inordinatley ashamed.

Midnightingale

11-28-2003, 04:56 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by DeathandMaiden:
shee-it as we say here in Appalachia.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I live in Appalachia. Charleston WV to be exact. Only stupid rednecks say Shee-it. Just an obversation.

Midnightingale

11-28-2003, 05:01 AM

3Mark Z. Danielewski House of Leaves A Novel $19.95 U.S.A $29.95 Can. RED xk! Since when did dows by Phila H.Webb and jan ess,
Location: 3ir Force Manual:thestone.comSunA historical guide to World GHOST Note: # 3X2 Chapter XIII: ; MZ 2,147 087 infanticide House of Leaves Mark Z. Danielewski's House of Leaves by Zampano with introduction and notes by Johnny Truant 2nd Edition Pantheon Boo
Gender: Male
Marital Status: 3New Yorthumperx44xxolor Fore
Hobbies & Interests: 3word vii introduction xi the likespinningplaes3 exhicits one - six 529 appendix: Zampano 537 Appendix II: Johnny Truant 567 Appendis III: Contrary Evidence 657 Index Credits Yggdrasil This is not for you. 1.5.1997 OCT 31 1998 Hollywood CA. Muss es sein?
Favorite Gadgets: I saw a film today, oh boy... - checkmark page 97 ...---... 4X44X444/4/4/4/4= if dft=16t2 . 27273 miles x 32ft/sec2 54545 . i am
Occupation: inos.3you are the minotaur.-knivesout-.ftno te327.XVi home . PFC ftaires 4 10th 11:27 am Lude;s Dead . 513.1st ed. c app.laura
Personal Quote: backcover:suce3des en enfer J chirue aoril 13 1985 ttp://www.rpg.net/quail/NY] BN/mage.treatment.html disinformation dot come here pretty please can you tell me where i am ? 305.25christian metz 046665 chad609i413i3565 no one should brave the underworld

[ November 28, 2003: Message edited by: Midnightingale ]

1exist

11-28-2003, 06:13 AM

What the shit?

[ November 28, 2003: Message edited by: 1exist ]

ThomasJ

11-28-2003, 12:41 PM

Lame.

Jenius

11-28-2003, 01:35 PM

By the by, the gravitational constant is 32.2ft per second squared... Z was off by a mile, learn your math.

fatwoul

11-28-2003, 01:44 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by My own self:
By the by, the gravitational constant is 32.2ft per second squared... Z was off by a mile, learn your math.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Learn your physics.

The value of "g" depends on where you are, and in particular how high or low you are.

9.81 metres per second squared (32.2ft per second squared) is true at ground level only, but since we already know that during the explorations within the house the explorers travel downward a huge distance, the amount of the earth's mass beneath them would be much less, and indeed would also be partly countered by the amount of the earth's mass above and to each side of them.

Not to mention the fact that, more importantly, if none of the explorers knew any of that, then "g" would be whatever value they perceived it to be - seeing as the interior of the house responds to perceptions and expectations.

Jenius

11-28-2003, 04:05 PM

Thanks fatwoul, I'll leave it to the house to decide then.

Midnightingale

11-28-2003, 07:09 PM

I didn't write it.

I'm just going to go away now. Mostly cos you're all a bunch of wankers. I'm sure there's probably exceptions, but damned if I see any. I'll just go find a nice community where people are nice.

Ta

fatwoul

11-28-2003, 07:21 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Midnightingale:
...I'll just go find a nice community where people are nice...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You won't find another unmoderated forum as nice as this.

But run along and enjoy wherever you settle, where they delete your posts if you say "poop". images/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif

Ra-ra

11-29-2003, 02:35 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Midnightingale:
Yada yada yada... bla bla bla etc... 513.1st ed. c app.laura
[ November 28, 2003: Message edited by: Midnightingale ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

See?!! See?!! Proof. Proof that it is I who wrote House of Leavesall along, Danielewski is just a fancy pen name. Didn't you all think it was little odd us being born on the same day in the year?

Its been nice.

RainingLight

11-29-2003, 08:49 AM

I just had an Identity moment.

Let's try to avoid that, okay?

sal

11-29-2003, 09:49 AM

There is no real Jonathan Truant.

moneth M.

11-29-2003, 04:51 PM

I'm curious. please continue. I wan't to hear what this guy has to say.

or are you just trying to get attention. and whats with the gibberish?

zedmango

11-30-2003, 12:59 AM

No, we need to hear more about this N'Ding girl. Does she only walk on hills, or does she just make a non-right (wrong?) angle with the ground? And what parts of HOL express her conflict between enjoying her abnormal angle with the ground, and wishing it were 90 degrees like everyone else?

Stencil

12-01-2003, 02:21 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Zarpint:
No, we need to hear more about this N'Ding girl. Does she only walk on hills, or does she just make a non-right (wrong?) angle with the ground? And what parts of HOL express her conflict between enjoying her abnormal angle with the ground, and wishing it were 90 degrees like everyone else?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

In answer to your questions:

A) She is too proud to get fitted with an orthopedic shoe, so she either walks with one foot tied to a banana crate or puts the longer foot in a pre-dug trench of no more than half a foot depth. Unfortunately she is not proud enough to stop walking with her head bowed in shame, which is itself a shame.

B) Exploration #5 and Navidson's Dream #1: Where the rest of us see terror in falling forever, or a comment on modern life after the fall of Empire and Newton, she only sees the unending ecstasy that comes with perpetual distance from the ground. How moving her dreams of a world where we seem to float together and being told "Klarrisa! You've got to learn to keep your feet on the ground! Ha ha ha!" is just the stuff of cruel Ancient myth!

fearful_syzygy

12-02-2003, 12:37 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by sal:
There is no real Jonathan Truant.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why Jonathan?

His name is John, as far as I know (cf. p. 639). What are you trying to say?

rustycrutch

12-02-2003, 11:44 PM

I think some people take this book too seriously. It's a good book. A great book. In fact, it can go on my top 10, as it should any film students.
But it is still a
novel, meaning a work of fiction. I've yet to see any evidence that any of this actually occured.

If someone could proove me wrong, I'll gladly punch myself in the head. but until then, I'm convinced that Johnny Truant, Zampano, and the Navidson Record do not exist. But Mark Z. Danielewski does exist.

To me, however, that some people believe this fiction to be fact, just shows the brilliance and the imagination of the artist. His father would do the same thing in his movies. As all art should. Films should pull you in, connect you, and then slap you in the face and say "It's a movie you idiot."

But who knows. I maybe wrong, but I haven't found anything to proove me otherwise.

No real opinion here, just some things I believe should be kept in mind

Stencil

12-03-2003, 04:16 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Rusty Crutch:
If someone could proove me wrong, I'll gladly punch myself in the head. but until then, I'm convinced that Johnny Truant, Zampano, and the Navidson Record do not exist. But Mark Z. Danielewski does exist.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I don't think anyone here believes any different. Even Midnightingale.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Rusty Crutch:
. . . .As all art should. Films should pull you in, connect you, and then slap you in the face and say "It's a movie you idiot."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I thought the best art was the other way round: that it should soundly slap you with the evidence of it's own fiction yet still make that connection.

lostindarkness

12-05-2003, 07:04 PM

im not sure wether i believe this or not but i know one thing
i want to believe it. if any of this book is real then maybe it means im not as crazy as i think. do you have this guys number. i mean even if its not the real johhny ( if there is one) it could still be interesting to hear what he has to say.

Blackbox

12-05-2003, 09:14 PM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR> im not sure wether i believe this or not but i know one thing
i want to believe it. if any of this book is real then maybe it means im not as crazy as i think. do you have this guys number. i mean even if its not the real johhny ( if there is one) it could still be interesting to hear what he has to say. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wow. And I thought I was the only person in here who had difficulty separating fantasy from reality images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

Delores

12-06-2003, 04:23 PM

Whoa .. no need to bash on naivety here, eh?

I must agree with Rusty Crutch, however. It's fiction. There's a reason why in the front cover, it says all that stuff about how "This is a work of fiction" etc. etc. MZD is merely an utterly godly author. I think that the idea is for the reader to really get into it until they wonder "Well, could this be possible?" but the truth is, it didn't happen. The word "novel" on the front cover is another dead giveaway.

I'm sure there's people you'll meet on the street who say "Hey, I'm the real Harry Potter, and I'm pissed off cos that Rowling bitch is sponging off my story," but are you s'posed to believe every crackpot poser you meet?

However, there's no reason to bash Midnightingale -- y'know, everyone's entitled to their opinion .. O_o;;

DeathandMaiden

12-06-2003, 08:51 PM

Well, what is a person going to expect, going around making like this novel is giving them insomnia, bad dreams, hallucinations and all the fine fine packaging that, in theory, the book gave to an entirely fictional person who does not exist? Then, after hearing similar "ooh, I get bad dreams, I can't sleep, I see carniverous shadows; all because of THIS book!" Over and over again; what do you espect?

example, Fatwoul and his/her crusade against the noobs.

WhenNothingWas

12-06-2003, 11:59 PM

The book is classified as fiction, but it is actually based on the life of Tom Selleck.

oncogene

12-07-2003, 02:06 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Farehamer:
Did you know Tyler Durden's real too, I met him the other day, just appeared sat on the end of my bed, creepy, very creepy.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
If I had a tumor, I'd name it Marla.

fatwoul

12-07-2003, 07:34 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by WhenNothingWas:
The book is classified as fiction, but it is actually based on the life of Tom Selleck.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ironically, while Johnny Truant and Tyler Durden are apparently real, Tom Selleck isn't - he was made in a lab from collected roadkill along the roads of Hawaii, and he was forced to appear in Magnum PI by the local government who provided the dead animals for his existence.

JuggaloStatix

12-07-2003, 09:36 AM

I met Lude once...he was standing on the corner selling dope...in a long trench coat and a speedo...he told me all about JT...he lives in the lost desserts of arizona working on a construction crew with no real records of his birth...because when he was twelve a robot came back from the future and said he would lead the revolution...oh wait im sorry that was John Conner from T3...my bad